When I was younger, I used to believe that some things were not what they appeared to be. I don’t believe that anymore. I now believe that things are exactly what they appear to be. This simple change of assumptions moved me from passively waiting to be duped to actively seeking to see things as they really are.
People and situations can be seen and understood for what they really are, but only if you really want to know and are willing to invest the requisite effort, patience, and perseverance. Most folks don’t. Most are content with their current base of understanding, reinforcing what they already believe they know to be true.
Seeing is believing; unfortunately we too often only look to see things consistent with our current beliefs and assumptions. We are all masters of self-deception.
One of the most important things we have to learn to do as leaders is to force ourselves out of our comfort zones and purposefully surround ourselves with people that see things differently than we do. Then we have to work hard to make and keep it safe for them to tell us what we need to know, not what they think we want to hear. Then we have to have the good sense and self-discipline to shut up and listen to what these trusted and brave folks have to say. Finally, we have to have the courage to invite them to accompany us on our journey of continual change and transformation, and reward them for meeting our expectation of holding us accountable for doing what is right rather than what is expedient.
When you think you know it all – you’ve arrived – you have nothing left to learn. You won’t believe it until you see it, but decay and decline will be the price you pay for your folly.
You can never have more than what you are willing to see.
What do you think? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below!
Related Posts:
Positively Unable And Unwilling To Learn
ACT Change: Changes Self And System
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Ouch!! This is a very challenging post. Thank YOU!
As I read this, I’m challenged with the thought, “If things aren’t what they seem, then who’s fault is that? MINE!” You’re right, we tend to see things from our own preconceived bias that is really the result of passive & lazy thinking, instead of intentional curiosity and search for truth.
Love the end “You can never have more than you are willing to see.”
Again thanks for the challenge!
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Bret L. Simmons Reply:
June 3rd, 2011 at 1:30 pm
Wow, John, you are exactly right that it’s my fault if I refuse to see things for what they are. Thanks for adding that value to the conversation! Bret
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Bret, as someone who is always learning, I agree with you wholeheartedly. It is easy to find people who agree with your thoughts and methods and never really challenge you, but what is the fun in that? As a result, you become a stagnate member of group think. Thanks for another great post! Miriam
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Bret L. Simmons Reply:
June 3rd, 2011 at 1:30 pm
Glad you mentioned groupthink, Miriam, because that’s exactly what it it. Thanks for sharing! Bret
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Miriam Gomberg Reply:
June 3rd, 2011 at 1:46 pm
I had a great teacher who taught me all about group think. I wonder who it was?
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Bret L. Simmons Reply:
June 3rd, 2011 at 5:49 pm
Hmmm? Oh yea, I know that guy! Thanks, Bret
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Brett, I like to tell my CEO clients they need to put a sign on their desk that states “I’m in the psychology business.” it’s more interesting the number of CEOs that don’t want to assume this role. However getting back to your post. I’m certain you remember the video of the basketball players and the gorilla that circulated about 10 years ago, which I believe brings up an important point. Too much focus can inhibit one’s ability to see. and of course one’s natural talents can also enable blinders of immense proportions.
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Bret L. Simmons Reply:
June 3rd, 2011 at 11:26 pm
I do remember that video, Rod. I too missed the Gorilla the first time through. I only saw what I believed I was supposed to see. Great point. Thanks! Bret
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Wonderful post Bret. It’s so valuable for any leader to step outside of his or her own brain and realize that there are many other amazing and valuable ideas and perspectives out there. I really like the idea of creating a safe environment where people are free to share different and dissenting points of view.
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Bret L. Simmons Reply:
June 5th, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Welcome back, Guy! You’ve been doing great things with blogging yourself. Keep up the great work and thanks for sharing your thoughts here. Bret
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Hi Bret-
Thank you as always for your thought provoking and honest posts. I step out of my comfort zone on a regular basis, although some times it’s by accident. There will always be plenty more to learn for sure.
The last six months have been a great learning experience. I thank you for helping me take that plunge. You are a wonderful example of leadership and a fantastic teacher. I will be attending your online class/blog on a regular basis.
Best regards!
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Bret L. Simmons Reply:
June 6th, 2011 at 1:36 pm
Thanks for the kind words, Tracey. Keep up the great work out there! Bret
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I think we see it our entire lives. But if we’re truly fortunate, we will find a quiet place by ourselves to truly see admit we see it. Your points here and on the video that struck me the most is the need for us to admit our own self-deception.
We hear all our lives “fake it to make it” or if you live anytime behind the corporate wall, you quickly find out there is no room to be completely honest with others so you begin to be less than honest with yourself. But the leaders we admire more are those who are crystal clear on what they offer, their strengths and their weaknesses. That is where the work resides.
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Bret L. Simmons Reply:
June 7th, 2011 at 7:45 am
Great points, Kneale. I understand clearly what you mean about what takes place behind the corporate walls. But we should remember the walls are only there because we collude with them. Some companies are working to tear them down, and even if you don’t work for one of those companies, you have to do that for yourself. Thanks! Bret
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