Kiss My Ass
A few days ago, Joe Scarborough told his critics to “kiss my ass” on his show Morning Joe. I was looking for an excuse to write about “kiss my ass,” so thanks, Joe.
I’m pretty sure I learned this phrase from my father. I can only remember him saying it with a smile on his face. I think one reason we moved around a lot when I was a kid was because my dad might have used this phrase a few too many times at work.
I think this was one of my favorite phrases when I was between the ages of 15 and 25. I don’t remember actually saying it to anyone but my friends, but I know I was thinking it when I quit my first job.
I can’t recall the last time I actually told someone to kiss my ass (it’s been a LONG time), but I must confess I still think it occasionally. For example, if someone asks me to do something extraordinary for them when they’ve never done a darn thing for me other than treat me like crap, I will say to them something like “Oh, gosh, I’m sorry, I really wish I could help you but I can’t right now.” What I’m really thinking is “yea, right, kiss my ass!”
So to all you arrogant, narcissistic, inconsiderate jerks I occasionally have to suffer, the next time you ask me to bend over backwards to make your little world more convenient for you, when I politely tell you “no, I’m sorry”, please know that I am really thinking “pucker up, Buttercup!”
Related Posts:
Remarkably Unprofessional Behavior
Treating People As Adults At Work
About the Author: Bret L. Simmons
Welcome to my blog! Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section of my posts. I publish all constructive, non-anonymous comments. 
You know with a title like that, you’re gonna get hundreds more hits than usual. But I would think this just makes you normal. We all think terrible things about others when we’re all ticked off. Its good we have a filter too.
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Bret L. Simmons Reply:
December 9th, 2010 at 1:07 pm
Had to get it off my chest. You know I’m huge on professionalism, but sometimes some people are three standard deviations away from the norm in how they behave. Thanks! Bret
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Great post, Bret. Haven’t we all wanted to tell the person who NEVER goes out of their way for us to “kiss our @$$.” It’s even funnier when I think of the research that proves that when you tell someone “thank you” for helping you, they’re 100% more likely to help you again in the future than if you don’t say thanks.
Appreciation is that powerful.
I wrote about the research on Compensation Cafe here: http://www.compensationcafe.com/2010/10/the-value-of-thank-you-proven-scientifically.html
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Bret L. Simmons Reply:
December 10th, 2010 at 7:31 pm
Welcome, Derek! I agree with you and the research, a positive response is always the way to go. It’s what I teach and recommend. But honestly, there are some people that really stretch the goodness of others. Thanks! Bret
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