What are you waiting for, the day is gone?
I said I’m waiting for dawn
What are you aiming for out here alone?
I said I’m aiming for homeHolding on, Holding on
Red Eyes lyrics
Songwriter: Jon Foreman, Switchfoot
What are you waiting for? This is a very common question. It seems to have at its core an assumption of hesitation or inability to take action. I wanted to ask this question as a follow-up to my post Leadership is a Journey. But the more I thought about it, it occurred to me that the better question is why are you waiting?
- Why are you waiting to assume full responsibility for yourself, your behavior and your outcomes?
- Why are you waiting to make your journey through life as meaningful and significant as possible?
- Why are you waiting to interact with others in ways that leave both you and them better prepared to assume full responsibility and find meaningfulness and significance at work?
- Why are you waiting to admit to yourself that there is a gap between where you are and where you need to be as an organizational citizen and leader?
- Why are you waiting to discover and confront the reason why you are waiting to do so many of the things you know you need to do?
Why is always a better question than how or what? Understanding why is the only way to create a unique future for yourself and those you have been given the privilege to lead.
What are the other important things you see yourself and others waiting for? Why?
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In my experience, the better question to ask is “what”. “Why” tends to illicit a defensive response because people feel they have to “defend” their position despite the fact they may not be happy with where they are. “Why” questions imply a judgment about the person’s behavior and that it is wrong. This is hardly a foundation for positive change. “What” takes the judgment out of it, allowing the person to reflect on what he/she really wants and how to get there. As for “How”, I tend to agree. “How” questions ‘limit’ rather than ‘unleash’. A thought provoking book in helping people find “their” answers is “The Answer to How is Yes” by Peter Block.
“What” questions:
• “What” is getting in the way of you assuming full responsibility for yourself, your behavior, your outcomes?
• “What” will it take to make your journey through life as meaningful and significant as possible?
• “What” can you do today to interact with others in ways that leave both you and them better prepared to assume full responsibility and find meaningfulness and significance at work?
• “What” can you do today to begin to discover and confront the reason why you are waiting to do so many of the things you know you need to do.
[Reply]
Bret L. Simmons Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 8:35 am
Welcome, Paola! This is excellent insight. I would agree with you that if I were talking to another person, those “what” questions you contribute are excellent. But when I am talking to myself, I simply must confront the why type questions. I do own the Block book you cite, and if I am not mistaken he also implies why is a better question. Thanks! Bret
[Reply]