I ran across a blog post today that began with this sentence:
The person that said this is very wise and accomplished. I’m sure when most people read this they smiled and thought to themselves “Me too!”
Although it could be, my concern here is not about the philosophy of education. My concern is for the deeply embedded cognitive schema manifest in this rhetoric.
Who is responsible for your wisdom and growth?
How you answer that question is critical. If I were a fly on the wall and could listen to your conversations and watch your behavior for a week at work, I could tell you unequivocally who you really believe is responsible for your wisdom.
You will behave utterly consistent with your assumptions. Make sure you understand very clearly what they are and the impact they have on your behavior.
I am not responsible for your wisdom, only for mine. But I do hold myself accountable for never accepting your responsibility. My gift to myself is to help us both accept more of our personal and shared responsibility.
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Love this post, Bret.
So often in my coaching work, I see clients try to give over to me the responsibility for their development; to make me the “guru”. At a level it’s tempting to take it and think of oneself as “important” in the process, but that’s a flawed approach and serves no-one. Much better to understand that my clients are responsible for their own growth, and that my role in the process is to support and enable it. Indeed, in the long term to help them sustain it for themselves.
Thanks for being so clear!
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Bret L. Simmons Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 12:05 pm
I wonder why we are so eager to find gurus? I love reading and learning, and giving credit to helpful sources, but I still have to find a way to apply the learning in my own life or it is useless. Thanks for sharing, Christine! Bret
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Here’s some simple wisdom I’ve learned, and applied. And it’s directly from you: “You must be willing to do what others are not.”
It’s wisdom because it works for ME and it’s consistent with what I’ve already learned and observed.
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Bret L. Simmons Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 2:09 pm
And I learned it from Robert Quinn, although I had been trying to practice it long before I read it. Thanks, Kate! Bret
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Bret – My mother thanks you for your very flattering words.
I wholeheartedly agree and disagree with your assertions.
Agree – I am 100% responsible for my learning and growth. I have wisdom within that I learn to trust more and more every day.
However – There are times when someone comes along and opens my eyes to a different perspective – a view I have not considered and didn’t even know existed. When this happens a new world opens up and allows my wisdom to blossom in a whole new garden. I cherish these moments and these sages.
This is also the value that consultants and coaches bring to their clients.
I learned an enormous amount from the series of reactions I had to your post about my post and very much look forward to talking and learning even more with you.
Thanks for opening my eyes!
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Bret L. Simmons Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 6:58 pm
You are very gracious, Anne. I actually don’t think we disagree. I embrace the fact that interacting with and learning from others is one of the primary ways we develop our wisdom. I’m only saying that we should never look to them and in any way think they are responsible for our learning, as if we could blame them if we felt we did not learn. Thanks! Bret
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Anne Perschel Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 7:07 pm
Thought we might be in agreement and I still look forward to talking.
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[...] Bret referenced my post What’s Missing from the Halls of Power in his post – Discover Your Own Wisdom. I was highly flattered when I received the automated notice and immediately hit [...]
I think this is a topic that merits much more discussion. I personally think that the idea of personal wisdom is a little over-rated. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in flashes of intuition, and I believe in divine wisdom but when there’s too much ‘my wisdom is for me and yours is for you’ you get anarchy in the end. As a recent BBC tv program said: “When you try and protect everyone’s rights you inevitably end up abusing some peoples’ rights.’
I believe we can all gain a lot of personal wisdom but we can learn a GREAT deal from those whose wisdom has stood the test of time. People are still using, benefiting and quoting the proverbs of Solomon 5000 years later. To reject that because it is not ‘my wisdom’ is stupidity.
Thanks for making me think before work!
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Bret L. Simmons Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 5:01 pm
Welcome, Doug! Excellent point about wisdom. I’m with you that there is very little new under the sun, it’s just a matter of people pursuing what is already there. That’s enough to keep me busy for a lifetime. Thanks! Bret
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