Respectful Engagement
Respect is a gift we give ourselves by the way we treat others. Remarkable leaders never demand that others respect them and their position. Instead, remarkable leaders focus on their responsibility to behave in respectful ways towards others, especially those with less power and position.
Remarkable leaders owe it to themselves to engage with others respectfully, and the credit returns to them abundantly in the form of organizational effectiveness and individual growth and well-being.
In her wonderful book “Energize Your Workplace,” Jane Dutton says the following about respectful engagement:
When others engage us respectfully, they reflect an image that is positive and valued. They create a sense of social dignity that confirms our worth and even our sense of competence. In so doing, they help us create a secure basis for seeking out connection to others. Respectful engagement thus empowers and energizes us, creating a heightened sense of our capacity to act both in relation to other people and with respect to ourselves. By the same token, acts of disrespectful engagement reflect an image of a person who is of limited value and worth. Not only do they sap our self-confidence, they encourage us to withdraw and withhold, moving away from rather than connecting with other people. Respectful engagement creates high quality connection and high quality connection creates respectful engagement. It is a powerful virtuous cycle. (pp. 25-26).
How we treat others matters to them. Because it matters to them, it affects us and everything we hope to accomplish with our leadership.
Show me a leader that behaves as if how she/he treats others does not matter and I will show you a fool.
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About the Author: Bret L. Simmons
Welcome to my blog! Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section of my posts. I publish all constructive, non-anonymous comments. 
Well said. I have yet to meet/work with an effective leader who was not respectful of those who worked around her or him. I have worked with a lot of people who were not respectful, or worse yet, respectful in person, but disrespectful behind the back.
Level 5 leaders are rare.
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Bret L. Simmons Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 8:26 pm
I have to agree with you, Paul, that remarkable leaders are rare. Because so many leaders are not respectful of others, just the simple act of being respectful gets one way down the road to being remarkable. Thanks for sharing! Bret
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Thanks for this important message, Bret. Giving away respect to others is indeed a daily challenge–but vital–in a chaotic, stress-filled world, while not feeling entitled to anything back. Definitely something to think about. I’ll be interested to see what others think.
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Bret L. Simmons Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 9:21 am
always easier said than done, Jim. Thanks! Bret
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