Comments on: Real Leaders Love Their Enemies

By: Bret L. Simmons

Bret L. Simmons — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 18:30:59 +0000

Welcome, Ken! I’ve got a history with the term “troublemakers”, having been called one myself many times. It is often a label that get’s slapped on purposeful actors by enemies. Thanks for visiting my site – appreciate the comment! Bret

By: Ken Grayling

Ken Grayling — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 18:07:09 +0000

I think that is the clearest statement I have ever come across of how and why one should deal with ‘troublemakers’.

By: Bret L. Simmons

Bret L. Simmons — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 19:35:58 +0000

you obviously care, both about the employee and your response, and that matters more I think than having the perfect response. No easy answers as you know. You’ll only be able to see it clearly after it is all well behind you. Hang in there! Bret

By: Kayse

Kayse — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 19:23:08 +0000

Thank you for your response. A clue to how upsetting this is: Grammatical errors I made in my first post. Letting it get to me is totally my fault and I’m working on that. I do everything from compliment her for both large and small things, to praying for her. What I am certain of is that there are lessons here to be learned. If I receive any wisdom, I’ll be happy to share – if I ever reach that point.

By: Bret L. Simmons

Bret L. Simmons — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 18:43:30 +0000

Welcome, Kayse! You describe a tough situation. Recognize that if it is what you think, YOU will not be able to change it. I would document my concerns and ask trusted others for input. Do everything you can to help the employee with the behavior, but clearly define it as behavior and be clear that it has to change. You will do everything you can to help, but things do have to change. Thanks for sharing! Bret

By: Kayse

Kayse — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 17:58:14 +0000

As usual, you’ve hit, spot on. In dealing with such a situation, I’ve one question about a situation I’m experiencing: The problem employee seems to have mental health issues, looses all sense of realty and can yell when angry. Carrying a grudge or anger seems to be a long-practiced habit. While I’ve tried the nice approach, when I go into business-mode, this person has a melt down. This party continually runs to one key board member, twisting truth to fit some unknown agenda.

Perhaps re-reading “The Art of War” would be appropriate, as I don’t know what else to call the situation…it seems to be “war.”

By: Bret L. Simmons

Bret L. Simmons — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 12:52:51 +0000

Hi Marne, sorry for the slow reply. You are so right about the easy route. The things I recommend are really all about developing ourselves as leaders. I bet you already practice these steps and more. Thanks! Bret

By: Marne Stillwell

Marne Stillwell — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 19:14:49 +0000

Brett,
Thank you for your discussion on loving your enemies. The easiest and most gratifying course of action for short-term relief is to destroy our enemies. However, by indulging in this impulse, we set ourselves, and our purpose back in the long term. As leaders, when we allow enemies to drive our behavior, rather than insisting that only our common purpose will drive our behavior, we send a strong message that our commitment to, and belief in, our purpose takes a back seat to personal ego. I appreciated the eight steps you included in your entry, it is so easy to fall back into default behaviors and patterns of thought when we are in conflict or crisis, I will definitely refer to and practice these steps!
Marne Stillwell

By: Bret L. Simmons

Bret L. Simmons — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 03:00:29 +0000

Wow, I’d like to see that! Maybe you should blog about it Thanks! Bret

By: Bret L. Simmons

Bret L. Simmons — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:59:48 +0000

Thanks for the link, Rebecca! Along a similar line, I still remember your post about burning bridges when you quit a job – agree with that perspective. Thanks! Bret