I follow your blog and find your advice so helpful and very compelling. I’ve watched this video and read this post twice. While the post affirms the decision I made to leave my job, and that feels great, the consequences have been hard.

Along the way in my career, I have take a lot of leadership development training. The more I learned about good practice, and the higher my positions have gone, the less tolerant I have become. I made a decision to never compromise my integrity. I also decided to never allow my boss to abuse me or the people who report to me. And, in my last executive -evel position, my boss and I just came to THAT critical juncture, and I quit. The conversation was professional. There was minimal drama. But I did it. At first, it felt great, especially because I have always wanted to start a consulting company. I want to be the boss, and I want to lead others with integrity.

The long term fallout is less than great. I have had a hard time getting my consulting practice going (although I have had some nibbles.)

I’m also looking for another job, because I need a backup plan and I do need health care. The job market is tight, but worse, my previous boss is well-connected in a pretty small sector. I’m fairly confident that she’s had an impact on my inability to land the jobs for which I have interviewed. Fortunately, I am connected in a variety of sectors, so I have other options, but there just aren’t a lot of jobs out there.

Ultimately, I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe I will land in the right place doing the right work with and for people who are good. But, I’ve questioned my competency, and my esteem suffers a lot, especially late at night when I am up worrying, thinking: Am I unemployable? Unlikeable? A trouble-making employee? Or am I an executive and a leader who doesn’t want to compromise? Good or bad?

I think I have done the right thing for myself and I try to reassure myself that I may have helped those who are left behind. It’s disconcerting to realize that my quitting is not going to have any impact or effect any change in such a poor supervisor. I’m just left questioning myself, and hoping to end up much better off in the long run. Only time will tell!

Keep bringing us great stuff, Brett.

It is correct that if we do nothing than it is the same as agreeing with the leadership’s behaviors and decisions. It could also be that if we don’t have the courage to say anything that the leadership does not know or realize what they are doing. We have to remember that it is also our responsibility as employees to communicate honestly and effictively with our management.

I know from both personal experience and that of my friends of the frustration and yes, sense of helpless one can feel when working for an abusive leader. For some reason or another, we convince ourselves that there’s nothing we can do about the situation.

In this piece, you do a fantastic job of countering this wrong assumption, reminding us that by passively accepting such conduct, we’re essentially abdicating our right and ability to change the situation.

Thanks for sharing this insight, Bret. Very empowering and reassuring.