Facebook – random. With FriendFeed, email searches, friends of, . . how random is it really. Yes, you sought me out but you had to also “look me up”. I do not publicly list my FB account. It is not in my signature. I do not promote it. It is true, I do use the same photo rather than an avatar. I have a poken for example (http://www.doyoupoken.com)which has hot links to my social networks. On my professional side – it is not mentioned. On my personal profile with my home address info, it is. I don’t own the vanity FB url.

I agree that we need to examine our assumptions and while I may be wrong, I have actually spent a lot of time doing just that. I even create a policy based on that analysis. This took a great deal of time. If you knew me better, you would know I do not give a mix message on my personal brand. So much so that I am quick to “jump in” when I discover that “my name” is used as a pen name by someone else. I know exactly how many other Roberta Hill’s with an online presence exist. I have considered (as you do) using my middle initial. I used it in my early career days but gave it up when I obtained my own URL.

And finally the Chamber Meeting. I would always be polite and you might get my business card with a smile that we must follow-up. But if there is no connection – amazing how it never happens. And in all my dealings with Twitter, you are the first to look at FB immediately. Assumptions perhaps? Usually it is LinkedIn where I connect next. Most of my FB and Twitter overlaps go from FB to Twitter not much the other way.

By the way, enjoying this discussion. Thanks. Roberta

Twitter is an open architecture. Anyone that locks their tweets on Twitter just does not get it. Twitter is about sharing your value with anyone that is interested and focusing your attention on finding those with whom your value resonates.

It is important to keep in mind that my post is about personal branding. In my professional opinion, anyone that is seriously interested in personal branding will treat Facebook as an open architecture also. I know they frame the issue differently, but I encourage people to not let Facebook tie their hands and set themselves up for situations where they might send the wrong message about themselves. Why would I ever want to even risk the possibility of offending someone by operating in Facebook as if what I am doing in there was only for those that pass my test, whatever that is? For personal branding, I’m sorry but it is just silly.

Treat Facebook and every other social networking site as a local chamber of commerce meeting. You don’t know everyone in the room, and there is no reason you would not want to extend your hand to anyone in the room. If someone extends a hand to you and you turn your back, they are not going to respond well and your behavior, not theirs, is responsible. It was NOT a random thing that brought us all to this chamber meeting. There is some shared interest there and the fact that you showed up gives others the valid assumption that it is legitimate for them to approach you and extend their hand.

If my knock on your Facebook door had been totally random, then I think your policy has merit. But there was nothing random about it. You operate on Twitter to promote your professional brand. That sends the signal to others that you understand social media and are using it to brand yourself and are interested in connecting with other professionals that do the same. It is a mixed message to say I operate one way here and you can talk to me but I operate another way over here and you can’t talk to me there. Its a mixed message and not good for a personal brand.

Again, for the purposes of personal branding, I think we have to carefully examine all our assumptions about what we are doing online, where we are doing it, how we are doing it, and how others are doing the same.

Thanks!!

Bret

I have my policy posted but I most certainly do not “write” back to all the people who ask to friend me and tell them why I won’t connect. I feel that is their responsibility. You asked specifically – and so I commented and thought I had made light of it. And, yes, two people who I do know and think that they are “crazies” have asked to friend me. I choose to ignore their requests and fortunately, they have not asked me why. I have also been harassed on Twitter.

I share personal things on Facebook about myself and my family. Truth – I am not afraid, it is none of these people’s business. I am more vulnerable and open about things. Some is just private stuff. For that reason, some of my Picture Albums are available to certain people. I use FB albums for my real family who are not on FB but thousands of miles away and I can send them a link. Sure I could use Flickr but that is one more thing to deal with.

May I ask how this policy is really that different from Tweeter – where people are much more indiscriminate? I can’t say Facebook has or has not framed it poorly. I do think that their privacy rules are terrible. As I say on my landing page, while I am not fan of Fan Pages I do think they serve a purpose – especially for branding.

I do agree about using these tools for greater professional leverage. However, there is only so much time we can commit. While I belong to many networks, I am active on only a few. I consider LinkedIn an important professional tool and see that you use this as well but not the Discussion Groups.

Explain to me please why you would feel offended by this policy? And to be honest, I am not sure what unintended results other than irritation there would be. Perhaps I am naive. Others care to wade in?

Twitter – The Cocktail Party (Maybe Speed Dating you’ll see why later)
Facebook – The Family Picnic
LinkedIn – The Business Meeting

If I don’t know you personally or through a longstanding on-going online connection, I will not add you as a friend in Facebook. If you don’t have my phone number there is a good chance I won’t “friend” you. Sometimes, even if I do know you, I will not connect.
I use Facebook to maintain connections with people that I have met and liked and might otherwise loose contact.

First, Twitter is a learning vehicle for me and an opportunity to share resources that I have found. (And using my own FriendFeed it is a great way to have my own history of what interested me at a point in time.) Second, over time, it is a way for me to develop deeper relationships with individuals who share my personal pursuits or professional interests. I may make a personal comment (1 for every 5 real tweets) so that those who follow me know that I am a real person with a real life. But I am not that personal and if I begin a short conversation I will move it to DM.

You can read tons more on my policy at:
http://www.robertahill.info/social-policy

Thanks for asking this and asking to friend – we will have to go out on a date just one or two more times. But I am feeling positive about it – primarily because MJ is a good friend of mine.

Each interaction, whether personal or professional influences us either positively or negatively; “Thank You” is such an easy way to make someone’s day and at the same time have your blog or business remembered because hardly anyone does it these days.

“We never touch people so lightly that we do not leave a trace.” Peggy Tabor Millin

I use TweetDeck and track both together and I prefer to select just some of my tweets to cross post where I think it makes sense to my FB friends. Oh and sometimes – when it fits, I do care what others are doing. Helps me “get to know them” on a more personal level. However, in principle I agree.